Make it New Year's Day Every Day

It's New Year's Eve, the final day of 2011. 

I have to admit I don't really get new year. There's usually a lot of pressure, whether it's to have a fabulous night out or to make a list of resolutions that will change your life for the better. 

One of my biggest gripes about New Year is the cost of the night out. I would have loved to have gone out with my friends, but couldn't justify the cost of the ticket (it's very sad). 

But it's not all bad: tonight will be spent in front of the telly with the Breaking Bad boxset (if you haven't seen it, you must - it's excellent: The Wire meets The Big C). Oh, there will be some nice wine and food too.

I don't see the point in resolutions. January 1 is a landmark - fresh start and all that - but whatever your goal, be it quit smoking/lose weight/start a new hobby/learn a new skill/get that dream job - why wait for that magic day that comes but once a year? Life is too short: grab it with both hands.

This year, I've enjoyed reading Alice Pyne's blog . You may have heard about her; the 16 year old has terminal cancer and she's been working through her 'bucket list'. Her chirpy writing, dry sense of humour and intention to live every day to its fullest are an inspiration. She's still going strong, despite a grim prognosis that predicted she wouldn't see this Christmas.

Some people I know get a bit down around new year, looking at the past 12 months, another year older and concerned they hadn't achieved quite what they'd hoped. 

Yes, I know it's Pollyanna-ish, but life is rubbish enough, what with the current economic climate and Dave & Co. doing their very best to make it even worse. Surely it's better to look at what you have achieved, however small?

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read my blog this year and for your support. Wherever you're spending New Year's Eve, have a good one.

I wish you all a happy and successful 2012. Take every day as it comes.

A Christmas Kindle

Venture into a cafe or travel on public transport these days and you’re as likely to find people staring at a piece of plastic as you are with their nose in a book. 

E-readers are becoming ever more commonplace; this year, Amazon revealed that sales of books for its Kindle e-reader have been outselling hardbacks.
 
It’s impossible to tell what someone is reading behind the grey, uninspiring casing of an e-reader. These gizmos have spoiled a favourite way to pass the time on a train journey: trying to guess what a stranger is like by their choice of reading.
 
Coloured leather covers for e-readers can’t replace the flourish of colour and design boasted by real books.
 
Aesthetics aside, they have had a more serious impact on book sales generally and charity fundraising in particular. Sales of traditional paper books have declined by 4% in the last year, meaning there are likely to be fewer books around to be donated to worthy causes.
 
With many people likely to be unwrapping a brand new e-reader on Christmas morning, this problem is likely to increase.
 
Donated books earn £21 million a year for Oxfam.  This revenue is quite a considerable contribution towards their aid work to overcome poverty and suffering across the world. Naturally, the decline in sales of traditional paper books is a concern for them.

Oxfam’s Rose Marsh said: “We are conscious that the number of books being purchased new is decreasing. E-readers are increasing in popularity and will continue to do so.”

Rose also points out that e-readers are at the moment only good for fiction; anything with images is better in paper form, which would seem to offer a glimmer of hope for traditional books.

However, it is inevitable that technology will catch up within a couple of years and offer books across every genre in all their glory.
 
As you’d expect, Oxfam takes a proactive approach to deal with a risk to a rich source of income.
 
They support the book trade, as they need them to sell new books for people to buy and then donate when they have finished with them.
 
The charity also asks people who have bought an e-reader to donate their physical books to them.
 
Rose continued: “There are plenty of books out there. We are looking at ways to make it easier to donate.”
 
Oxfam has been encouraging people to give their unwanted books a new home through the annual books donation drive and promoting donations at work. An incredible 30,000 second-hand books were donated at this year’s Hay Festival.

Besides helping good causes, charity shops are an excellent way to help feed a reading habit without breaking the bank.

Unwanted gifts often find their way there, meaning you can often nab a book, still in pristine condition, for a fraction of the RRP.  Recent bargains include a hardback book for a mere £2.
 
I am a voracious reader; being hungry for a good read makes trips to bookshops expensive. Of course, I have my favourite authors, but love making new discoveries.

For me, part of the pleasure of buying a new book is to be found in browsing and having a cover catch your eye. I’m unconvinced that pressing a button to download a new addition to an e-reader offers such a level of satisfaction.
 
Being unable to leave a bookshop empty-handed means I have quite an extensive collection of books, of nearly every genre. I love the range of colour offered by their spines stacked alongside each other. The rather high ‘to read’ pile offers a thrill of anticipation.

E-readers are changing the way we treat books. If I’ve enjoyed a book and think a friend will also like it, I share it with them.
 
Downloads can’t be handed around; your friend will have to purchase the book if they are going to share your recommendation.

That’s good for the publishing houses and the economy, but bad for the time-honoured tradition of sharing literature amongst fellow book lovers.

Books I don’t enjoy get another chance at life by being donated to a local charity shop.  With an e-reader, your only option is to hit ‘delete’ to make space for more deserving titles. That seems quite wasteful.
 
I’m not a complete Luddite; I can see that e-readers have their advantages. Investing in one means you will no longer have to risk exceeding your baggage allowance because of a stash of holiday reading, or weigh down your bag on a train trip.
 
The decline of books is disheartening.  However, while technology is changing the way we buy and deal with books, my hope is that the resulting portability of literature will help more people discover a love of reading.

A final thought: if all your reading is now on an e-reader or tablet, spread a bit of Christmas cheer by having a de-clutter and donate your unwanted books to your local charity shop.

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The Nature of Modern Friendship

Our busy lives mean that maintaining friendships often slides down the list of priorities.

Social media such as Facebook and Twitter have helped define the nature of modern friendship. Experts have said that people now spend too long in front of their computers with virtual friends, instead of socialising.

I see it differently: our time today is often too tight to enable us to have regular, proper catch-ups with our friends. Facebook and Twitter enable us to slip in and out of each other’s lives, catching up as you go. They’ve helped me to maintain more friendships that I might otherwise have.

I’ve travelled the world and have friends who live in all four corners of the globe. It’s no longer necessary to make time for the ritual of getting out the thin blue Airmail paper to write my news. My far-flung friends are able to keep up with each others’ lives with regular snippets of news and photographs. It’s all for the better, as not many of us have the chance to sit down and write that long letter. However, that does take away the thrill of the arrival of a letter bearing an exotic stamp.

The internet even enables us to befriend people we might otherwise not have met. My partner Martin collects American sports memorabilia and made friends with an Yank on an online forum. The friendship was sparked by Chris, the American, asking Martin why a Brit had such a pastime. This year, Chris and his family were holidaying in Europe, giving us the opportunity to meet up, as well as giving Martin and I the excuse to have a much-needed city break.

Colleagues had a great time thinking dreaming up all sorts of grisly fates that would no doubt await us in meeting our internet friends, because, after all, everyone knows the internet is full of weirdos, but I’m pleased to report it all worked out well. The ever-shrinking global village helped us make some fabulous new friends.

While online forums help us share common hobbies with people across the world, the internet also provides a virtual shoulder to cry on with people who know what you’re going through. Real-life friends can offer support with a glass of wine, but the forums offer an additional crutch.

We share lots of personal information with our friends, but how much personal information should we share on these sites? You have to think whether you put your life out there for work colleagues, acquaintances and family members with whom you might normally not share so much. Would you mind your boss or your mum seeing photos of you on a drunken night out?

Social media can mean saying goodbye to a fair amount of privacy in our private lives, no matter how circumspect we try to be.

                 

Just as social media helps us maintain friendships in the face of hectic schedules, the nature of modern friendship presents complexities for dealing with friendships you no longer want. We’ve all had friendships that have fizzled out. In the olden days, the friendship would just have faded away, but technology presents us with a new dilemma: do you defriend them?

‘Defriending’ people isn’t as simple as clicking a button, as psychologist Sue Jamison-Powell has found. She says that being ‘defriended’ may have more in common with losing a lover.

Sue said: “In real-life friendships, there is the possibility of allowing friendships to drift into acquaintanceships. On many social networking sites, however, it is only possible to have people as a 'friend' or not.

“This makes online friendships something more like romantic relationships, which we tend to view in an either/or way: either we are in a relationship or we are not.”

It’s important to keep it all in perspective. The way we see friendships today may have changed, but that shouldn’t change the way we treat our friends.

‘Liking’ a status can never replace a proper catch up over a glass (or two) of wine.

Tempus Fugit

When I was little, people who were older than me would warn that when you were grown-up, time would fly. “Nonsense,” I would think as even a week would seem a very long time.

Now I am a grown up of course I realise those people are right. The weeks, months and years fly by: weekends, it seems, go quickest of all.

Even the age of 30 seemed very old indeed when I was a child. My mum, like most of my friends’ mums, had their children in their early 20s, so at the age of six or so our mums were just hitting the big 3-0. So, the fourth decade seemed really ancient. I really wasn’t looking forward to my 30^th as it seemed so old – but of course there was nothing to worry about.

That’s not to say I don’t feel old sometimes. Earlier in the year, Radio 1 was playing in the office – it wasn’t long before I was grumbling “What’s that racket?” and felt compelled to change the station to good old Radio 2 with its selection of music from the 1970s to the current day. Just don’t get me started on Steve Wright’s non-stop oldies at 3pm, especially when the ‘oldies’ happen to be from the ‘90s. They’re not oldies, that’s proper music!

I even feel old when I go out. When I go out, I like to find a pub where you can have a catch-up, maybe some decent music playing unobtrusively in the background. A few weeks ago, I was out with friends in London. The trouble with the country’s licensing laws is that you’re just getting warmed up when time is called, so we had to venture to somewhere with a late license. That somewhere was heaving with people aged around 10 years younger than me and music blaring so loudly it was uncomfortable on the old ears.

A weekend with pleasant weather doesn’t bring me pleasure just because I can get out and enjoy some fresh air; it also makes me happy because it means I’ll be able to hang out the washing. What a good little housewife I am.

I’ve been going grey for about 10 years; my hair is naturally very dark and the grey is a pure silver, creating a stark contrast. I refuse to go grey gracefully, but being unable to afford the now-monthly trips to the hairdresser that became necessary for root coverage, instead I colour at home. With my first efforts, the bathroom looked as though I’d murdered someone a la Scarface: liquid matter was scattered around the tiles, the bath, the towels...but now I’m quite the dab hand, if I say so myself.

Even as I seem to be hurtling towards middle age (gasp!),

at the grand old age of 34, I feel the best is yet to come. Cheesy moment alert: I feel happy with myself and I’m where I want to be in my career (any upcoming restructures notwithstanding). 

Tempus fugit. Just make sure you make the most of it.

I don't know whether the weather will be sunny or rainy...

That quote from The Simpsons always makes me chuckle. Smartypants Lisa Simpson is a point away from winning a spelling bee; the final word is 'whether'. Competitors can ask for the word to be put in context in a sentence and the emcee, who doesn't want Lisa to win, tricks her.

Us English people are, of course, obsessed with the weather. Experts have said this summer has been the coldest for many years - though we hardly needed boffin metereologists to tell us that. We barely know what clothes to put on in the morning: do we need to wrap up against the wind, wear sensible shoes in case it rains or layer up in the event that the sun makes an appearance late in the afternoon (which often happens and I'm boiling when I get in my car after work).

For all this obsession about the weather, we're actually quite lucky in this country. We may suffer cold, wet summers, but seldom do we experience Mother Nature's extremes that threaten our lives and properties (the famous hurricane of the late 80s notwithstanding).

Other countries I have lived in do experience weather extremes, but they are far less obsessed by it.

I have long been a fan of Kiwi band Crowded House. I'm sure most of you will know one of their songs, Four Seasons in One Day. Aucklanders will tell you how true this song is; I had the privilege of living in that city and found out that they're right. Go out for the day and you'll need a jumper, rain mac and t-shirt to be prepared for all that the weather has to throw at you.

You'll all know that the weather is upside down on the other side of the world. I was living in Auckland during 2003, when Europe was sweating through a heatwave that took many lives. Not only did I miss that summer, but at the same time New Zealand was experiencing the coldest winter for decades. Auckland houses aren't equipped for 'proper' winters, as generally they're quite short and mild, so I really appreciated double glazing and central heating during my first winter on my return to the UK.

However on the whole, New Zealand's weather is temperate, with beautifully clear and crisp winters days and warm summers. Would I return to New Zealand? Try and stop me. Aotearoa stole a piece of my heart.

As anyone who has ever watched an Aussie soap opera, the weather in Australia is always perfect. Is it? Of course, the summer is scorching, but when it rains, it really rains. I once found it much easier to walk home from work barefoot in a rainstorm as my shoes were submerged; it was something to behold.

In the height of summer, the wind burns your skin. I remember seeing smoke from bushfires (a lot are caused by arson, as well as the weather). The upside is you can make weekend plans being 99% certain of decent weather, unlike the Poms.

Would I return to Australia? Yes, if only to visit my brother and friends. Living there is out of the question, but that's unrelated to the weather; the reason has eight legs. But that's a whole new blog.


*Thank you to Jill Janes for her feature idea.

Me, Stupid? That Doesn't Add Up!

Maths has always been a huge issue for me. When I was about 11 I was congratulated by teachers for coming top in my year in an English exam. This cause for celebration was dampened by news from my maths teacher that my performance in the maths exam was so low it had fallen off the bottom of the chart. My maths performance didn’t improve and my effort diminished with it.

At university I read history. You might think that’s a daft choice for someone who is so bad at maths, with all those dates and everything. I was fine; it didn’t involve adding, subtracting or any of those convoluted things.

I just don’t ‘get’ numbers. I transpose digits. I regularly enter phone numbers the wrong way around. Even simple multiplication on a calculator is complicated for me: I can do the same calculation five times and get five different answers. I get anxious in meetings when discussing numerical data. I have to think very hard about which is left and which is right. Yes, I know it’s a sexist stereotype, but I really can’t read maps.

I always thought it was just me and felt stupid.

One day, I had a Eureka moment. I stumbled across some information about speech and language difficulties. One of these was called dyscalculia. It is similar to dyslexia, but it affects the way the brain reads numbers, not words. The symptoms (difficulty with basic arithmetic; not knowing the difference between left and right; not being able to read maps, to name a few) seemed to fit me perfectly. Besides these difficulties, sufferers tend to have normal or above average IQ (they’re not stupid!).  About 6% of the population are have dyscalculia, so why isn’t it more widely-known?

I was keen to find out how I could get myself tested for dyscalculia – if only to prove I’m not thick.

Herein, it seems, lies the problem with awareness about the condition. Experts have different opinions on what dyscalculia is and there is no definitive test. Tests are available, but they are expensive.

What does this mean for dyscalculic children in schools? Dyslexia is now a well-known condition, with a wide variety of support available in class and extra time in exams for dyslexic students.

It seems that many schools don’t understand dyscalculia. Therefore, they don’t understand what support is needed to help children overcome their problems with maths.

Taking time and patience to help a child understand numeracy in a way that works for them is key. It will help them understand not just maths, but a range of other subjects. Most importantly, it will help their self-esteem if they are not labelled as ‘stupid’ or ‘lazy’.

If you have the same problem with numbers and want to prove you’re not stupid, tests are available online. See this quick test or do a Google search.  

As for me, I’ve come to accept that numbers are something I struggle with. I’ve found ways round things.

So what if I count on my fingers. At work, if I need help with a something relating to numbers, I ask. At home, my partner excels at maths and looks after that side of things.

If I have to turn a map around to figure out where I’m going, that’s fine. I give myself an extra second to think what’s left and what’s right. It’s all about balancing the equation.

All the World's a Stage

Last Thursday saw my first trip to Shakespeare’s Globe. Situated on the Embankment near London Bridge, the open-air theatre is a reproduction of the original Globe that burned down in the 17^th century.

We (Martin and our Kiwi friends Adam and Nadia) had booked standing tickets to see Dr Faustus. The more observant of you will note that the play isn’t in Shakespeare’s repertoire; it was written by Christopher Marlowe, a contemporary of the Bard.

The play is set in 16^th century Germany; Dr Faustus is a scholar who uses magic to gain more knowledge. He enters into a bargain with Mephistopheles, an agent of Lucifer: Faustus sells his soul to the devil in exchange for 24 years of luxury and unquestioning service from the dark side.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that the play is all doom and gloom, but light relief is provided by the ‘Fool’ character Robin and regular bawdy scenes.

Any fears that the audience may have had about not understanding language from 500 years ago surely must have been abated by the stunning production.

At only £5, the standing tickets are a real bargain. The advantage of a standing ticket is that you’re right in the centre of the action. 

I was nearly impaled by the Good Angel’s sword; parts of Gluttony’s cream cake landed in my hair; one actor, whose character had fallen off a horse into a pond arrived on stage dripping wet and proceeded to squeeze out his sodden woollen socks over our heads (we moved pretty quickly). He then removed his breeches, revealing his bare bum right in front of our faces. Lovely!

Other members of the audience were also involved; one caught Gluttony’s rejected celery stick and could be seen during the interval proudly holding his prize; others had tennis balls thrown at them.

The final scene of the play involves the Furies visiting Faustus to claim their debt. This was an affecting scene; horned beasts appeared in the audience as if from nowhere; smoke from Hell swirled around. I could imagine the effect this scene would have had on a more religious and superstitious audiences in times gone by.

Keen not to let the audience leave on a downbeat note, however, the cast performed a song and dance routine at the end.

Mephistopheles was played by Arthur Darvill, famous for playing Rory in Dr Who. He was excellent; a far cry from his wimpy TV character. However, it's unfair to single him out as the whole cast was fantastic.

The effect of being able to stand right next to the stage cannot be underestimated; you really feel a part of the play in a way that you are unable to in other theatres. Standing isn’t a problem; I was so engrossed that time flew. It is very civilised and certainly isn’t a mosh pit.

The open-air feature of the theatre meant I followed the weather forecast rather obsessively for the week leading up to it. Heavy showers have been a regular feature this summer. The rain continued lightly throughout the performance, but I barely noticed.

But lo! What winged beasts do fly above? Unfortunately, the Globe is beneath a flight path and the hum of low-flying planes would disturb proceedings every so often. I suppose there’s not much that can be done about that, but it certainly didn’t spoil anything.

The ultimate recommendation for Dr Faustus and the Globe? Martin, who in our 12 years together has been enticed to the theatre on only one other occasion during our relationship (to see The Crucible) absolutely loved it and can’t wait to go again.

So if you will excuse me, I will bid you adieu to book some more tickets. Maybe next time, I’ll see you there.

Finding the Global Village in Brussels

I wasn’t murdered last weekend. “Well, good for you,” you might say. “Why on earth would you be thinking such a thing?” It’s all because Martin and I went to a foreign city to meet some people we’d ‘met’ online. After all, everyone knows the internet is full of strange people, don’t they?

Work colleagues delighted in jesting about our weekend away in Brussels, imagining grisly fates for us. However, the weird and wonderful thing about modern friendship is that it can spring from the most unlikely places.

Martin and Chris ‘met’ on an online forum for sporting memorabilia enthusiasts and struck up a firm friendship. We of course live in England and Chris and his family live in New Jersey, so the relationship was confined to email. Hopes of meeting up in person were sparked by Chris’ European holiday plans; they were flying out of Brussels, a mere train ride away for us.

We’d planned to meet for drinks in our hotel. While I was looking forward to meeting them, I was a little nervous beforehand; what would they be like? Would we have enough to talk about? I needn’t have worried, as we talked the night away. We shared lots in common with Chris, his wife Alison and daughter Casey. I was particularly excited to learn we shared a common hatred of Coldplay.

Brussels is interesting as a European capital: it hasn’t quite got the grandeur of Paris or Berlin, but on the plus side it’s quite contained, making it a perfect place for a relaxing weekend away. A particular bonus is that it’s only two hours away on the Eurostar, which is such a civilised way to travel.

The sights in Brussels worth seeing include the Comic Book museum, atomium and botanical gardens. The Grand Place is pretty spectacular; we were lucky enough to see a light show on our last night, which was really pretty. Oh, and the numerous chocolate boutiques are definitely worth a visit! The Mannekin Pis is a bit rubbish, to be honest. Walking around, soaking up the atmosphere and spotting the odd surprise Tintin mural is a pleasant way to pass the time.

Not much sightseeing gives you more time to enjoy the things Brussels is famous for: chocolate, beer (mine’s a Leffe blonde, thanks), moules and waffles. Mmmmm.......

Anyway, enough of the tourism plug. We had a brilliant two nights in Brussels, but the 24 hours we spent with our new friends went too quickly!

I’m fascinated about how the internet has turned our world in to a global village. Without it, we’d never have had the chance to meet such fabulous people.   

We’re now firm, real-life friends and are looking forward to our next meet-up; let’s hope we don’t have to wait too long!