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Judging from the question and comments in this article in the Guardian, faking it - including wondering whether you should to get ahead or worry about being found out - is a common concern.
Integrity, kindness and honesty are qualities that are important to me. 'Faking' holds connotations of dishonesty and poor ethics. So, do I want to fake it to make it?
I've noticed that the people I most admire don't fake it, but have an inner confidence - in themselves as people and in their own abilities. They remain true to their own values.
A bit of faking might work at first, if only to trick the brain into doing something that frightens you out of your comfort zone. For me, part of that means being more open.
Being open is enabling me to be more ebullient, as well as passionate about the issues and people that are important to me.
If I was faking it all the time, I'd be looking over my shoulder, waiting to be found out. That seems exhausting.
Depending on the situation, I think a bit of faking at the start is sometimes necessary (showing interest in a boring person/subject in order to pass a job interview, being sociable at an event that you don't really want to attend, being friendly and accepting to a person who your friend loves, but that you don't really care for, etc etc etc), but I think that if you find yourself in a situation that requires you to fake it ALL THE TIME, then that's a situation not worth being in. Life's too short to not be real.
ReplyDeleteVery true; it's probably impossible to avoid ever faking it. However, I think there's a distinction between displaying good manners, like you describe above and trying to be someone you're not. Thanks for your comment!
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