Shout, shout, let it all out

It's been a year since my last post. I'm disappointed with myself for letting so much time go by, as I get pleasure from writing my blog and receiving your feedback.

Writing from the heart, I put a lot of myself in my musings. Distractions in the past year have left me without much energy for writing, which is a shame as it’s a great therapy.

I am my own worst enemy. A few years ago, my coach said to me: “Gosh, Leigh, you are always so hard on yourself.” That’s true, but she also said she admired my self-awareness about the challenges I put in my own way. Sadly, I have been suppressing this for the past year and completely ignored my own advice that I blogged about last new year.

Training as a coach myself has, thankfully, given me an epiphany and reawakened my self-awareness.

During the past year, stress and anxiety became a normal state for me and as a consequence I've neglected some of the things that make me happy. I felt that denying the existence of my stress meant I was in control, but my stress was controlling me.

As a perennial people pleaser, putting my own needs second was natural to me. However, my normal habit of acquiescing for the sake of a quiet life certainly didn’t result in inner peace. To reference the Tears for Fears song of this blog’s title, a shout lets it all out. Of course it’s good to be kind to others and respect their feelings, but denying my own happiness gained nothing.

To paraphrase the Serenity Prayer, it’s important to know what you have the power to change and what you can’t. I’ve learnt it’s impossible to be all things to all people or to try to be anyone but me.

Taking the pressure off myself means I can be a bit kinder to myself. I have more positive energy available to perform even better at work (I recognise I am privileged to have a successful career doing something I'm good at, enjoy and have the feedback to support that) and to indulge in whatever I feel like doing in my spare time. Feeling fulfilled is vital to being happy.

Of course, stress can never be completely eliminated from modern daily life. The right amount of stress, usually involving fight or flight instincts, can be positive, especially in my line of work. The adrenaline shot is exciting and skill-affirming, but it must be left behind when the crisis is over.

There’s no magic wand - managing my stress and finding the right balance has got to be worked on, one step at a time. It’s not easy, but the link between stress and disease should be incentive enough to reduce unnecessary stress in anyone’s life.

One comfort is in knowing I’m not alone in having issues with stress. Talking about it really does help. So, now over to you...